I've been reading more illuminating material from Vitvan. I can't do justice to how important these books have been for me.
"The Christos" just provided a different look or angle with which to view evolution. He talks about the development of tribes and how the member of the tribe does not have the 'ego' sense or I AM I sense just as the child under seven years of age does not have the sense of 'I'. So I find it interesting to look at how the development of the soul comes along. Obviously it didn't all start at the mineral level, but that is where I will start. The mineral has a deep unconscious state and is worked on from without by man. Man builds bridges and houses and makes airplanes with the elements. The mineral develops into the plant. The plant experiences a dreamless state of sleep. It is worked upon from without by the angels and gets its nourishment from the sun. Animals have a group spirit that works on them from without. They have an inherent instinct that drives them that could be called "God" as well. The animal resembles the tribesman. The only thing that really sets them apart is the tribesman's use of symbols for communication. There is still a sort of group spirit that rules the tribe. They are still One but have yet to become individualized. Slowly the man of the tribe breaks away and desires to express himself apart from the tribe. Down the line he will lose that sense of close family and oneness. He will become part of a community, a town and then a city, a state, a country, etc. The end being where he sees himself One with the world. Now the way Vitvan portrayed it that got me to see it differently is how the involutionary and evolutionary cycles work against each other.
Man must become individualized and become his own being separate from the tribe. All of the old tribes like the Vikings eventually started to mate outside of their own and the mixing of bloods ensued and the closeness to God was lost. The clairvoyance came from the blood (the seat of the ego) and once the daughters of Gods mixed blood with the sons of man, this faculty was lost (Max Heindel). This is a natural part of the cycle. One must lose touch with the Father and become the prodigal son making his journey through matter. When he begins to re-learn his divine origins it is in his nature to feel proud of himself. He has begun to conquer the mystery. This rising up of pride brings him away from the oneness that is inherent to everything. He must reintegrate with the world tribe while also maintaining his separate self. So the two poles here are lacking self consciousness while only identifying with the tribe and becoming a complete individual ego but seeing one's self as completely separate from all else. In the grand scheme of things there is no difference. The tribesman must "leave father and mother" and the individualized self conscious person must re-integrate with the world.
So what happens is you must fight the external forces and also fight internal forces. The urge is still there to fit in with "the herd" and be close to everyone else, but on the other side you are becoming your own separate person developing your own intricacies. It is easy to swing to either side of this equation and find one's self unbalanced. Vitvan says that he is of the opinion that it is harder to fight the inner demons or elementals. These are influences that have been building up through many cycles or lifetimes. We need to gain control of the forces inside and outside of us.
We have a private, inner fight and we have an outer, general fight. When we can get control of all of the forces in our lives. When we get control of all of the desires, things that dominate us we developed the Ego consciousness. We can only develop this state when we have conquered all of these battles with inner nature and outer world. We have these little battles over and over again. When we win one of these battles, we gain a little more sense of that I Am I. It is not all done at once, it is done over many battles.
Here is a quote:
"You don't develop an ego-sense with any one battle and then feel that you are a conqueror; it is by little winnings, little battles that you win. Each accumulation of thse little battles that the ego-sense gets so strong that you can whip anything 'within' or 'without'; you feel that, "I am in control of the forces:; instinctive, impulsive and those compulsive motivating forces within, as well as the dominating forces without."
However, everytime you lose the battles you develop a sense of guilt.
"If the guilt sense accumulates and becomes stronger than the ego-sense, a reversal in the polarity of your psychic-nature is effected; instead of accentuating the positive side of your psyche, you accentuate the negative. If you get on the negative side which is called introversion, you become hypersensitive, etc. The negative side cannot be developed except in accumulated failures in the battle; this battle may go on just in the secrecy of your own self, and another person may or may not know of the battle that you have alone, within yourself. But they will all know the results, because the results are going to shine right out, show right forth and become representations in your configurational-self (objective self/physiological organism). And if those representations are continued over a long enough period in the configurational-self, they become organic disorders or diseases; so you are going to reflect the results of these conflicts".
Failures turn into psychological disorders and then are reflected out as physiological maladies. The cause produces an equal effect. Vitvan goes on to say that not only is a guilt feeling generated but also is a fear complex created. This is a fear of being cut of from the "World Mother" or developing a "mother fixation", which he explains is acted out in being afraid of being alone, always surrounding yourself with others, etc. The gregarious instinct becomes strong and being cut of from others is dreaded.
So metaphorically one has to grab your sword and go to war. There is no way out. Shying away from the battles only heightens one's misery. One can't go and commit suicide, we've made a contract with life, with this world and suicide would be worse than any punishment on this earth (according to Vitvan the desires are still there but we have no vehicle with which to fulfill them).
All of those pains and struggles, all the tears shed eventually get transmuted into glory and grace. They are one, the tears bring about the glory of a mission accomplished. Without one there wouldn't be the other.
And I'll end this with another great quote:
"In this phase of developing the psychic-nature we have to accept the fact that we are faced with a conflict, and all of this sweetness and light, all this goody-goody stuff is out, beacuse Life-facts 'within' and 'without' pose an issue that we have to meet; and fight we must - fail or win. Of course each of us in the process will have temporary failures. I estimate that I have failed ten thousand times to every time I won. But the greatest failure is to not get up and get in the fight again; nothing can beat you unless you lie down and quit. No matter how many times you are beaten in the struggle, in the conflict, never give up; just gather your strength together and fortify yourself and try it again and after the ten thousandth failure you will make a gain, you will win a battle - and Oh, boy, you feel wonderful - EGO-SENSE: YOU HAE DEVELOPED A FACULTY YOU CAN TAKE WITH YOU! So little by little through many failures and little gains we finally develop the sense of I-am-I, I am independent, I am self-sufficient, I don't have to depend upon anyone, I've got an ego. You can get cocky about it; you have a right to strut you stuff, and you have a right to throw your weight around - for awhile; now watch, "for awhile" - because IT IS NOT LONG AFTER THIS TERRIFIC STRUGGLE TO BUILD THE EGO THAT A NEW FORCE COMES IN - THE CHRISTOS FORCE, THE BIRTH OF THE CHRISTOS TAKES PLACE BY GRACE; it is a new field, higher than any field you have ever contacted before. You have contacted a new field by virtue of winning your ego-sense; you are now independent, for you by winning that battle you also contacted a higher sphere, differentiated field, or higher frequency, which was absolutely impossible for you to contact before you had an ego-state with which to contact it. But the moment you contact the higher level, that higher force, there comes a dynamic influence that is greater than any dynamic influence that you have ever experienced before. It is so much greater than the vital-dynamism of the configurational-self, it is so much greater in its potentiality, its power, the feel of it and the sense of it, than the psycho-dynamism by which the psychic-nature was evolved and developed, and which finally won the fight by developing an ego."
Now go and buy the books...